Killings

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

[As Raindrop Falls]-Part 1 of "In depths of Isolation"

He stood there like a statue waiting for nothing to happen as it continued to roll down his face. With rain pouring down on him, the puddle soon filled up and emptiness soon arose across the floating horizon. The cold fog soon circled around him as he shivers from the thought of isolation. I can see his eyes from the droplets of water crawling down his forehead, his heart from the tears he's shedding from the loneliness that hit him 5 minutes ago. Everything was so silent; all he could hear was Arik's last footsteps before entering the door. He could still remember last night's bonding moment; the long hour conversation, the endless flow of liquor, the huge slices of cheese pizza, the last few smiles and laughter. As he would open the note Arik left him with the envelope that came along with it, his eyes suddenly puffed wide open and the envelope in his hand slowly feathered down the wet concrete. With a drenched white shirt, shoes almost covered with mud and once again a broken heart, images of Arik were randomly flashing through his head. "Why do the best things in my life always go blank...?" he whispered with a gasping breath of despair...

[Bleeding Through the Past]-Part 2 of "In depths of Isolation"

It was 1 in the afternoon and the sky started to clear up as Uncle Jack started loading the car with all of Carlos' baggage. Looking at the pictures of his family on the side table of the living room, his fingers were gazing through the happiness seen candidly on the photos. In a couple of minutes he will be parting ways with his family and would be living with his uncle and all the pain, anger and hurt were squeezing his heart. As Carlos slowly broke out in tears and the hate on his father's existence grew in him, he tore the picture in half separating him with them. "Hey Carlos lets go before it would start raining again..." his uncle shouted who was already in the car. He left the torn picture on the sofa and slips inside his wallet the other half. As he picked up his backpack Mr. and Mrs. Velasquez was waiting for him outside the door to bid him goodbye. It was like the longest walk in his life, one of the most difficult and feared, to be abandoned by his parents. He would hug his mother tight whispering over her right shoulder, "I don't want to go mom…please don't let me." Kissing him on the cheek, her mother couldn't look at him and with a helpless face she entered the house uncertain of what is the right thing to do. Carlos would be left with nothing as his last hope of staying would cowardly leave him in isolation. He had no choice; he had to leave the house. With his father left with him outside the door waiting for a hug, Carlos would walk pass by him as he could not even bare look at his face.

Starring at the side mirror he would slowly see his house decrease in size and his heart collapse in seconds...as the silhouette of his mother from the door's aluminum screen would blur out in the air.

[Walking Around in Circles]-Part 3 of "In depths of Isolation”

As the petals fall down one by one, Carlos’ hope of having her in his arms soon washed away. Samantha, the one girl he ever gave his whole heart to was too ignorant and insensitive to what he had to offer. “I don’t know if you’re that shallow, but no one could ever love you the way I do…why can’t you just see that and stop looking on your ideals…” asking himself as he poured more tequila in the shot glass. Liquor came pouring down shot after shot, trying to forget the scars he took just to save her from all the burdens they have gone through. As he recalls all those sleepless nights with her just to comfort her from all the heartbreaks, all the effort he laid just to impress her, those days he had to skip lunch just to save up for a perfect date went unnoticed. A few more drinks and Carlos soon passed out with the bottle of tequila in left hand and a photo of her in the other.

The next morning he found himself lying on a dirty carpet in his friend’s loft, Shawn. He couldn’t remember anything that happened last night except for some girl’s name. “Where’s jenny…?” he asked when his friend reached out a cup of coffee. Shawn just smiled back and said, “Man, get some more sleep you’re gonna need it. Oh yeah, she left you this note” then walked away. Carlos with a big hangover sips from the cup and puts it on the floor beside the carpet. He slowly opened the note and read, “Hey Carlos it was great talking to you, Just remember that whenever a burning candle dies from the whirring wind you could always get a match to light it up again. I’ll see you soon and by the way, here’s my number 9865523. -Jenny” Yawning and remembering what happened last and who Jenny was, He shoves his face on the pillow and tried getting more sleep.

Time passed by as weeks grew into months and he unknowingly found himself falling for Jenny. But that thought of going unnoticed once more held him back. The fear of getting hurt crossed his path as he contemplated on what to do. Until one night he was going through his things and found the picture of him he tore when he was a kid as he was asked to live with his uncle. Along with this was the crumpled picture of Samantha and Jenny’s note when they first met. It was then he realized, “I could never give up on this, it’s my time to be happy…” But what he didn’t know is that Shawn was also falling in love with his Jenny…

Not long did everything come out between the two, as Carlos went to Shawn’s loft to talk things over things didn’t go pretty well. They met and blurted out what they had to say to each other, this conversation soon turned out to be an argument and soon became a fist fights. They found themselves both on the floor with all the furniture scattered all over. As Shawn stood up, spitted out some blood and was ready to jump on Carlos once more, things suddenly came to a halt. With an exhausted voice Carlos said, “She’s your man…if this would ruin our friendship I’m going to give her up for you.” With this he asked Shawn to promise him never to break Jenny’s heart. “I don’t understand you Carlos; just get out of here…” Shawn said in a confused and unstable manner.

Walking home with bruises and a torn shirt, Carlos found himself alone once more. Thinking of what happened earlier he consistently wipes the blood on his lips and began to question God. Questioning Him on why this is happening in his life, that if there is really a God he wouldn’t be in this situation. That he never deserved all the sufferings that he has been and have been experiencing. His faith ran out that night as he threw away his miraculous medal.

With his mind else where he stood steadily in the middle of a highway, it was as if he was deaf from everything around him as cars were passing by, honking and flicking their lights. He turns his head as a bright light zoomed in on him…

[The White Out]-Part 4 of "In depths of Isolation”

Sirens were sounding off and red lights were continuously blinking as Carlos was put in an ambulance. “1, 2, 3, Clear…” the medics were shouting but couldn’t get any pulse going. They continued trying first aid on him but failed to revive his consciousness, so they had to bring him to the nearest hospital. As the doors of the ambulance shut it immediately drove off leaving a white envelope on the cold concrete.

It was a DOA as the ambulance parked in front of the hospital entrance. The doctors tried on doing an alternative procedure to revive him but it seem not to work and all they were left to do was call his parents...

After a couple of hours Carlos’ mom arrived, running through the door crying as he would hold her sons hand. “I’m sorry Mrs. Velasquez but your son died 2 hours ago. We tried everything we could but we came up with nothing.” The doctor said to her as he would tap her shoulder. Shocked as she was, she did not know how to react or feel as she held her sons hand tightly. “I’m sorry Carlos, for everything I have done, for all my short comings…Please come back!” her mother said as she would kneel down beside his bed. Everything soon blacked out, as the lights slowly shut but she stayed beside him, praying intently as she could. His hand suddenly twitched and his eyes slowly opened. Amy, which was Mrs. Velasquez’s nick name, excitedly was shouting for the doctor.

Everything was so blurry; all he could see was a black and white silhouette of some persona. “Hey Carlos, good morning…” her mother said with a comforting voice. “I can’t see! Who are you? Where am I? Who am I?” Carlos exclaimed. “I love you son…” she whispered as she would hug him on his bed.

[10 days and counting]-Part 5 of "In depths of Isolation”

Carlos soon got back home with his uncle but silence and loneliness still ruled around him even if his mother were already staying in the house…He continued to hate life.

That afternoon when he got home; Jenny and Shawn were there waiting in his room. She grabbed him by the hand and kissed him on the cheek saying welcoming him back. Shawn held him on the shoulders saying, “I’m Glad you’re here man.” With a confused face, he just kept silent for he could not remember who these people were. Days passed by until someone came knocking in his room, visiting him everyday that it somehow already became a routine. The two would usually have long talks and build a friendship out of that small time. The funny thing about it is that, Carlos somehow found happiness in his new friend, Arik. He would even invite Carlos to watch the movies even if he couldn’t see. Arik would end up describing every scene in the movie just for his friend to be able to imagine how the story would happen. At times they would just sit along sidewalks and just talk for hours, laughing and joking. Arik would stick by Carlos and just be a friend. This was what Carlos has been asking for ever since and now he is hoping that it would be permanent but in his dismay in ten days Arik would be leaving for France for good.

It was 8:00 pm and Arik ate dinner in Carlos’ house. “Hey bro, can u pass me the salad” Arik said. As he would reach out for the bowl everything suddenly stopped and he was in the middle of how to tell his friend he was leaving in ten days. “Earth to Arik…Hello?? Snap out of it man!” Carlos laughingly said. Waking up from self-contemplation, he smiled at his friend and reached for the salad. Dinner then was about to be over until Arik spoke up, “Carlos, I’m leaving in ten days to go to France. I’d be staying there for good.” It was as if Carlos did not here what he said and asked him again, “Huh? What? I didn’t here you man, sorry” Arik would repeat what he said as it became really quiet inside the dinning room. It took Carlos a while before everything processed and made a jokingly remarked, “Do take care man…and bring some snails for me if ever you decide to visit” Both awkwardly laughed along with the joke even if they knew that everything was not alright. “Hey bro, I have to go. I’m going to be late for curfew.” Said Arik, but really it was just an excuse to get out of that situation and for him not see his friend hurt.

Things were pretty awkward with the reaming days they’ve spent together, specially that Carlos felt he was being abandoned once more. It was until the last night before Arik’s departure that they opened up to one another. It was for the last time that they sat on the sidewalks; talked, bonded and gave off their last few words. They just sat there, waiting until dawn so Carlos could bring Arik to the airport.

[The Flight]-Part 6 of "In depths of Isolation”

It was a long way to the airport and it was pretty silent all the way going there. As the two would sit from end to end, both of them would look far away. Arik gazes through the random light posts and tall building, as knew how he would miss this place; would miss how great things are in the country, how he would leave one of the most important people in his life, everything is just complicated in life as he would realize it. He just wishes that the buildings and light posts would not end so he would not have to leave so soon. On the other side of the car was Carlos holding on from crying. He would think of his friend and how this would benefit him more in the future. He tries to think positively with the fact that Arik had to leave, “It going to be for his sake anyway and besides this would do well for him.” Carlos whispered to himself.

Soon they had to go down as the car would drop them of the airport. There they were standing face to face. Both of them were out of words and Arik opened his arms and gave his best friend one last hug. He whispered to him, “Take good care of yourself Carlos. Remember that I will always be here for you as I would stay permanently in your heart. Take this note along with the white envelope…Goodbye” Carlos didn’t have enough time to react as his friend would walk away. Rain soon poured down on him as he would froze in the middle of it all.

As he would open the note Arik left him with the envelope that came along with it, his eyes suddenly puffed wide open and the envelope in his hand slowly feathered down the wet concrete. Hearing the last call for Arik’s last flight, he would run back to the window and try to run after him. “Arik!” he shouted but he could not get to him.

With the plane ready to take off he would find himself alone gazing through the window seeing his friend fly away. “Goodbye…” with his last look through the window he said. He walks back in to where he left the envelope, picked it up and saw his picture with his family, the picture of Samantha, the first note of Jenny and Arik’s message. Continuously tears rolled down his cheek and read his friend’s last note. “Carlos, do you remember the time when we had a big fight and we decided never to see each other again? Anyway I just want to give you y biggest gratitude for giving me this friendship that I know would last forever. Friend, please do remember that no matter how things turn out to be or how bad thing are for you never give up for I have never given up on you your friend-Shawn”


killed:
9:41 PM



The Source

Name: Jonathan A. Cuyegkeng
Nickname: Cuyeg
Birthday: May 3, 1986
School: Dlsu-Main
Email: cuyegjc@yahoo.com
Music: Emo, RnB, Alternative, Beach House, Feel Good Music!
Sports: Basketball, Table tennis, Badminton, Rowing
Hobbies: Photography, Writing, Reading (only when there's a good read), Tambay, Use the internet, Play NBA live

Driven Insane


-x Ale Tejada
-x Ariane Astorga
-x Camille Agcaoili
-x Caresse Dy
-x Clarence Arreza
-x Corina Reyes
-x Danni Tabujara
-x Danni Tabujara II
-x Huey Remulla
-x Icka Alcantara
-x Jacqueline Uy
-x Jaja Samaniego
-x Jana Centeno
-x Jason Lopez
-x Jill Cruz
-x Jino del Mundo
-x Kim Malicsi
-x Kizia Beredo
-x Les Chew
-x Malia Viardo
-x Marcia Jarina
-x Martin Dimalanta
-x Nico Manga
-x Niko Batallones
-x Paolo Manga
-x Paolo Manga II
-x Steph Nepomuceno
-x Toni Gozum


The Sane Past

October 2006

Shout For Help